My Cat Thinks He's Sexy

Hello.

I am Buzzy.

Look at me.

Forget the world now.

There is only you and me.

Forever.


Now go and fetch me some albacore before I carve my name into your upper thigh.

Four Legs Good, Two Legs Tired

Adding a new family member is always a trip, even if it’s an animal and not a human. This past weekend our family got a bit bigger when we decided to add another dog to our little zoo. If you’re keeping track, our household now consists of 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 humans. Even taking into account the “man’s best friend” factor, the humans are clearly at a disadvantage now. The balance of power has shifted decidedly in favor of the animals.

Enter: Rufus

Internet, meet Rufus. Rufus, Internet.

Rufus is a 9-month old Carolina Dog. He’s a howling, jumping, chewing, stealing, sniffing, panting, wagging, bumbling, endearing and—occasionally—tinkling ball of sheer, goofy insanity. His back end and his front end are on uncertain terms regarding direction. He has the odd habit of approaching you sideways when called, looking more and more like a cashew as he draws closer until finally wrapping his body around your legs in a very improbable fashion. He has an astonishing repertoire of bizarre vocalizations. At this young age, he has waaaay too much head and leg and walks with the odd, mincing gait of a Lipizzan.

In short, he is awesome.

Crashing the Pack
So far, big sister Maya (our 5-year old Carolina Dog) loves Rufus. The introduction could not have gone smoother and I am very proud of how Maya has treated the new guy. She’s been patient with his thievery and upstart antics and has taken to him extremely well. I think she’s glad for the company.

Esmé—by far the most, er, difficult of the pack—has done very well for a cat and incredibly well given her track record. She hasn’t drawn any blood yet, which is a landmark. A couple of clawless pops to the snout established the precise nature of the relationship and so far both parties are honoring the agreement. Besides, Esmé’s pretty easy to manage: give her plenty of food and more attention than any living thing could possibly need and she stays in good spirits.

Buzzy has torn an opening in the underside of our box spring and taken to hiding therein. He sneaks out occasionally for food and other necessities but hasn’t spent a significant amount of time downstairs all week.

He’s a little shy. I don’t blame him. He and I have been the only males in the house for a while now. Frankly, I’m a little shell-shocked myself. We’ll come around.

So How Could Anyone Part With Animals Like These?
Rufus comes to us by way of Tennessee where he was rescued from the streets and an almost certain death sentence in the local shelters. Thanks to a devoted network of rescue volunteers, amazingly sweet, beautiful, fun and—believe me—grateful animals like Rufus are spared from euthanasia, given temporary foster care, and finally shuffled off to better lives in loving homes.

All four of the animals living with us are rescues. Esmé and Buzzy literally lived in dumpsters. Maya was on death row in Georgia with a couple of days left ‘til the gas chamber (I wish I were joking). Though they may have their little quirks, these are four of the most amazing companions my wife and I could’ve asked for. So, without turning this into a PSA or anything, I feel compelled to say that if you’re thinking of getting a pet of any kind, please consider going to a shelter first. Our experience has been extremely rewarding.

Thanks for reading.

Cats: Dolphins' Malevolent Cousins

You know how dolphins will race alongside the bow of a ship as it speeds through the water, playfully keeping pace and darting across its path?

Cats do this, too.

The differences are that cats do this to people instead of boats, on stairs instead of in water and, instead of being playful, cats are actually trying to kill you.

It's rumored that cats hate water. I don't buy it. Tell that to my cat, Buzzy, who in his younger days used to obsessively sit between the outside wall of the tub and the curtain every time someone took a shower. Tell that to my friend's cat who used to dart into the bathroom at every opportunity and sit in the toilet.

Yes, I said "in". He liked to go for a soak in the loo. No one knows why.

Or do we?

I submit to you that cats and dolphins are more closely related than we think and may, in fact, be in working in collusion. Further, cats may well represent a sort of dolphin "Fifth Column" placed among us to advance some mysterious agenda hatched long ago by the extremely intelligent sea mammals. Likely goal: world domination.

The enemy is among us. Be vigilant and use the hand rail.