A new site design is underway, including integration of the various other sites I’ve been tinkering with for the past several months.

The mission is to bring together all of my endeavors into one, cohesive hub encompassing music, photography, writing, and creativity, in general.

In the meantime, this temporary setup will have to suffice.

Sorry for the delay and poor netiquette. I hope we see each other again.

The greatest weapon against adversity is laughter. What I’d like to offer to you is a little known secret about how laughter can be used to overcome adversity of all kinds. No matter how serious the situation, you can–with time and proper training–wield laughter as you might  a sword or chainsaw. I will explain.

PHASE ONE – CRAZY LAUGH

In any given adverse situation, I like to start with an off-putting or even maniacal laugh, which has the occasional advantage of intimidating (or even DESTROYING) adversity outright. More on that later. The important thing to remember is that putting all the “crazy” you can into it is very, very important. Employing the phase one or “Crazy Laugh” is equivalent to going “over the top” in the time-honored sport of arm wrestling. The idea is to give one great, big push to position yourself with the proper leverage against the opposing force. Namely, adversity.

You’re probably skeptical at this point. Good for you. A keen analytical mind is an essential survival tool. Stupid people die stupid deaths all the time. Some of them even win awards for it.  But not you. So, to satisfy your hunger for evidence to support this claim, I will describe for you the proper application of this technique in an adverse situation. Take, for example, stepping in a bear trap that partially severs your leg. This is a fairly serious bit of adversity by any standard but not too serious, as I will demonstrate.

Imagine, if you will, that you’re enjoying a leisurely walk through bear country when, perhaps distracted by the sighting  of a rare or endangered bird, you unwittingly step in a big, rusty bear trap. You have two choices in this situation. You could cry like an 8-year old girl with a fishing lure stuck in her neck (which will do little to help your situation, let alone your pride) or you can take a moment to calmly assess the situation, look directly at the bear trap and then burst into shrieking laughter with enough force and vigor as to virtually shred your vocal cords (Note: be sure to stop short of that, as there are other phases of laughter to follow).

Reach down into the depths of your bowels and muster a laugh so intense–so disturbingly hysterical–that IMMEDIATELY the situation takes on an entirely different tenor. What was mere seconds before a horrific bit of bad luck is instantly transformed into, at best, a somewhat messy pratfall. Do this and you will send a clear message to the bear trap and your mangled leg that this “rookie shit” is not nearly enough to dampen your formidable spirits. In a word: leverage. In fact, experts in this technique have managed to generate enough leverage using Crazy Laugh that bear traps will actually spring open and leg wounds will spontaneously heal.

DISCLAIMER: that level of ferocious optimism takes DECADES of disciplined practice to achieve. You ain’t there yet. Stay focused.

NOW, assuming you’re not one of the indomitable Masters of Crazy Laugh described above, what you need to do is move to the next phase. Once you’ve applied enough Crazy Laugh to establish dominance, you can then transition to a less off-putting, more bemused laugh, which we’ll call Ironic Laugh.

PHASE TWO – IRONIC LAUGH

Ironic Laugh tells adversity that, while you recognize and acknowledge its effect on your deal, you still have enough control over yourself to appreciate the humor of the situation. This belittles adversity and causes it to doubt itself. Apply Ironic Laugh liberally, gesturing toward the adverse situation as if inviting others to join in your amusement. You can even begin to ad lib a few phrases. Like, “Hahaha, boy, can you believe BEAR TRAPS? I mean, is it really necessary that they nearly SEVER the limb? I mean, it’s a bear TRAP not a bear MAIM, right? I thought the idea would be just to keep the bear from leaving! Seems like a major design flaw to me. Probably could have gone with an adhesive-based system! Anyway, I’m bleeding a lot. Hahaha. Geez…”

By this time, if you’ve applied the techniques properly, adversity is really becoming uncomfortable.

PHASE THREE – VICTORY/TAUNTING LAUGH

The third and final phase is the laugh of genuine amusement. Let’s call it the Victory Laugh (or Taunting Laugh). You can use this to handle smaller adverse situations, like dropping a lit cigar on your exposed genitals. Or, continuing with our example, you can use Victory Laugh after successfully completing the first two phases. As time goes by and your heartbeat begins to slow, and maybe you’re a little chilly from blood loss, the laugh transitions from irony to genuine amusement and maybe even flat out giddiness. This is a proclamation of the euphoric joy of victory. Soon enough your destroyed limb won’t matter at all. Adversity will shrink away, defeated and shamed, while you drift off to a comforting sleep.

I hope you find this useful. The key to perfection is persistence, so keep at it. Remember: adversity is out there and it’s trying to kill you. If you’re going to die anyway, you may as well die laughing.

It’s basically to the point where I have more apology posts than actual posts.

Anyway.

SORRY ABOUT:

• Broken links
• Bad design (the bullets are stars? really???)
• Piss poor, sporadic entries
• That smell (wasn’t me)

DOING ABOUT IT:

• Feeling guilty
• Eating my shame
• Resolving to do better
• Having a good think on what this shite, er, site is going to be all about. And I’m leaning toward creativity (here’s where you have a nice, ironic laugh).

First, I really want to fix the way it all looks. If it looks good, I’ll be motivated to visit. Superficial bastard that I am.

I’ll give you a holler when I’m ready to roll again. Cheers.