I Wanna Be a Werewolf
How bad do I want to be a werewolf?
If I were a werewolf I would seriously own anyone who pissed me off. Say what you want about werewolves but if you get on the wrong side of one you're pretty much about as screwed as you can be. That's just a bad, bad scene.
Picture it: you're in line waiting to buy a movie ticket and some steakhead cuts in front of you.
You're like, "Excuse me..."
He's like, "What? You got a problem?"
You're like, "No, YOU have a problem. Apparently you have trouble with certain of the basic social rules that govern civilized interaction with other humans. The end of the line is back that way. I suggest you initiate your rehabilitation from hopeless misanthropy by going there."
He's like, "I suggest you shut the fuck up before I--"
**BAM!!! TRANSFORMATION SCENE!!! BONE POPPING, SKIN STRETCHING, CLOTHES TEARING, HAIR SPROUTING, INSTANTANEOUS MONSTERATION!!!**
And you're like (all in your booming, feral werewolf voice): "BEFORE YOU WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!"
Then you swipe the skin off his front and go get your ticket and some popcorn.
That would be SWEET!
So, anyway. Werewolves: drop me a line. I'm ready for this.
Labels: bite me, lycanthropes, lycanthropy, werewolf, werewolves, what the hell did he say?
posted by Jon @ 3/18/2009
7 comments
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7 Comments:
.... BUWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! That's awesome!
absolutely. I like the werewolf style that you picked - THE HOWLING type, talking as you transform - and digging your skill all the way through the transformation.
I used to wish for the super power to be able to separate a coffee mug's handle from the mug. Evil bosses sipping coffee - snap.
Loud people in the office - snap.
Burned laps and a smile.
But I like your idea better.
I want to be a werewolf too.
The power to spontaneously dismantle coffee mugs. That's effing hilarious.
I'm not sure why I typed "effing". I say "fuck" here all the time. It's like I'm typing this at church and someone might here the filthy, filthy keystrokes.
God is listening to you type!
So, anyway, werewolves with telekinetic mug breaking abilities. It would be cool if you had to turn into a werewolf before the mug breaking thing would work. So you're intended target has to first watch this 30-40 second transformation sequence, then there's a big, menacing werewolf towering over them, staring really hard at their coffee mug, which then snaps off at the handle. Then you nonchalantly change back and walk away.
Still waiting for that email from a werewolf, people...
I did that thing ware I tipe "here" instead of "hear" and then I posted it and noticed two late that Im a stoopid.
i hate that.
i also did a "you're" v. "your" thing in their 2.
witch is awesome.
If I were a werewolf no one would give a fuck ("eff") about my grammar skills.
My favorite part of the post is the term "Monsteration".
Excuse me while I go Monsterate and rip this dude a new one.
Love it.
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