Cats: Dolphins' Malevolent Cousins

You know how dolphins will race alongside the bow of a ship as it speeds through the water, playfully keeping pace and darting across its path?

Cats do this, too.

The differences are that cats do this to people instead of boats, on stairs instead of in water and, instead of being playful, cats are actually trying to kill you.

It's rumored that cats hate water. I don't buy it. Tell that to my cat, Buzzy, who in his younger days used to obsessively sit between the outside wall of the tub and the curtain every time someone took a shower. Tell that to my friend's cat who used to dart into the bathroom at every opportunity and sit in the toilet.

Yes, I said "in". He liked to go for a soak in the loo. No one knows why.

Or do we?

I submit to you that cats and dolphins are more closely related than we think and may, in fact, be in working in collusion. Further, cats may well represent a sort of dolphin "Fifth Column" placed among us to advance some mysterious agenda hatched long ago by the extremely intelligent sea mammals. Likely goal: world domination.

The enemy is among us. Be vigilant and use the hand rail.